this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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