He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I made him laugh his dick is mine
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
