I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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