I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
