You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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