Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
