I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
