Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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