This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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