Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
