I hate your face
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
