I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize