I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
