I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
