I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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