I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
