I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
