A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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