i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
