I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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