Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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