What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
