I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
