It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
