Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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