Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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