what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
