so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
