Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
