That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
