It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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