Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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