i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
