Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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