Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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