im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
