why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
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