Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
