Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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