I heard we made out
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
