I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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