just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
