And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
