Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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