the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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