The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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