You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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