South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize