No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
