I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
