After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
