I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
