she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
