Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize