Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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