3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
